Breathless
by McGonagall's Bola
Summary: My take on how the ninth season should begin… This is thus set right after They All Fall Down. DuCaine -REWRITTEN!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I have realized I haven't been into CSI:Miami much anymore since discovering and experimenting with other fandoms... I must confess I haven't liked the show much lately. I feel like all has become too focused on 'sensation', that the forensics used aren't even always correct or realistic anymore. I quite dislike how our leads, our Calleigh Duquesne and Horatio Caine, don't even seem to be talking anymore – I don't care about the discord between the actors! There's so much left unsaid between them! **

**I chose the title of this piece for more than one reason. For one, it (indirectly) refers to the episode Breathless (1.07), which contains, despite it being quite obviously _acted_, one of my favorite DuCaine scenes: "Personally? Leather chaps, nothing else…" That one was hilarious. There are at the least two more hidden reasons which are supposed to come to their rights within this piece of fanfiction itself. One should be easy to catch in this chapter, and another hopefully in the ones following.**

**I'm happy (and hoping) to hear your thoughts and suggestions. Please review if you like. **

* * *

Chapter 1: Sleeping Beauty

Horatio Caine seriously doubted he had ever really driven this fast before. He had maneuvered through the streets of Miami with sirens loud, Frank beside him in the passenger seat of his Hummer, turning greener every car he passed. He couldn't care about that now. His friend would be regaining color soon. Frank Tripp would be alright. He, however, didn't believe he could say that from the rest of his friends, his colleagues, and employees.

As Frank beside him tried not to retch because of the very fast drive they had had, the lieutenant quietly scrutinized the scene before him. Everyone lay slouched on the light, shiny floor. Papers and whatever else his people might have been holding were scattered beside and around them. Even though Horatio had missed most of his son Kyle's childhood and thus never had read him any fairytales or such, this scene reminded him of the fairytale of the Sleeping Beauty. He vaguely recalled listening to the voice of his mother as she read it to Raymond and him from their big, golden colored paged book with fairytales. He felt like the Prince entering the city where everyone had fallen asleep. Were they only asleep, though?

"What the…?" it suddenly sounded from beside the red haired lieutenant.

He couldn't care to look at his friend, but he sounded more like himself once more at least. He would regain soon. Horatio squinted, turning his head to find nothing dangerous he could either see or smell. Horatio then quietly walked to Natalia Boa Vista's motionless body, sitting down on one knee beside it, and feeling for a pulse in her neck. He felt a very weak one. "Frank?" he called, turning his head to look at his friend, who thankfully already had taken his phone to call for help.

Horatio could feel himself getting dizzy. The dangerous, invisible and odorless stuff must linger in there still. He easily got up, better aware than anyone else that whatever this was, it most likely had a somewhat stronger effect further down. There were some reasons for that, which he couldn't care to ponder about right then either.

Then with a pang of fear, something dawned on him, as he began hurrying in the direction of Ballistics. The solid, sound proof walls combined with the fact that there was no working air-conditioning there made anyone who possibly might have been at the range a very easy victim for whatever was going on there. He just ignored Frank's questioning and hurried further to his destination. The door of the range was wide open. He immediately frowned at that unfamiliarity. Calleigh _never_ left the door open.

He then saw the reason why it was, running forward to where Eric and Calleigh both lay. He settled down on one knee beside them, sighing in relief upon feeling Eric's pulse. That made him think that Eric must have arrived there later. He needed to get him off Calleigh. Her motionless, petite figure couldn't take all his weight.

"Frank," Horatio said, hearing the shuffling of his friend behind him, "Help me move him."

Frank reached them, aiding in rolling him over. Horatio then slid his fingers to Calleigh's neck. Panic took over him while moving his fingers a couple of inches to the left, then back. "Sweetheart…" Horatio's voice sounded.

Frank's eyes locked on the scene beside him, and he, too, could feel his intestines shrivel together as he saw Horatio's fear rise at not finding a pulse. He and Calleigh had always gotten along well. He watched as Horatio raised the blonde's upper body in his arm and tried feeling for a pulse again with his other hand to the other side of her neck, before lowering his ear to her mouth. "Frank. She's got no pulse I can feel… And she's not breathing."

He then picked her up into his arms easily, running from the range with Calleigh cradled against his chest. Upon reaching the hallway, a couple of EMTs with two gurneys rolled from the elevator. He could notice the shock readable on their faces, looking at the very same scene Frank and he had discovered earlier as well. He ran to the first gurney, carefully putting Calleigh on it and screaming, "She is not breathing!"

* * *

"I realized too late, Frank," Horatio said, both of his elbows leaning onto the edge of Calleigh's hospital bed as his fingers were waved together, her hand in between them. He had once seen her much like this, with too many tubes running from and to her body as they were what kept her alive. He had hoped to never see it again. At least there was one little comfort for him. At least now he could be the one sitting by her side holding her hand, whereas Eric had taken up that spot last time, while he just had been forced to watch them through a layer of glass. More than ever before had that made him realize that things between Calleigh and him would never be the same again, even though he wanted. He really wanted to get their mutual understanding back. It had begun collapsing after Speed, and then with Jake…

"Don't blame yourself like that, pal," Frank said, putting his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I'll never forgive myself if she doesn't make it," Horatio said, before looking up from Calleigh's shut eyelids and lips, her light blonde hair sprawled over the pillow gracefully even though the situation. "How are the others doing?" he questioned.

Frank nodded. "They're going to be alright, but they'll most likely have to stay at the hospital for a couple of days… but just to make sure. They have given them something that will get them awake. Eric's already awoken, since he wasn't exposed so much. He just said everyone was already down when he came in about half an hour before us. He's been asking about Calleigh."

Horatio sighed, before looking at his second-in-command once again. "Her lungs have become weaker because of what has happened last time." He didn't need to say any more. Both he and Frank vividly recalled when Calleigh had almost choked interrogating a suspect – though neither had been there – and then had been on a thread between life and death after she had risked her life saving someone at a burning crime scene. "They have failed far easier, and thus these machines are breathing for Calleigh until her lungs can take up with that again. She's… Her carrier as a CSI is over, Frank."

Detective Tripp looked at his friend, then at Calleigh bewildered. Of course, if he maybe hadn't been so close to the situation, he would have realized by now that she most likely was going to have consequences of this. He unconsciously had been pushing past that for the past couple of hours, though. He said no word.

"They can't say how big the damage is quite yet, but…" His words trailed off, and he felt Frank's hand on his shoulder momentarily tighten. He lowered his head, and while holding onto Calleigh's colder hand, he did something he hadn't done in quite a while: he prayed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Waking to Harsh Reality

Horatio Caine quietly upturned the cardboard cup, draining the last of his tepid coffee. When Eric had come by to 'see' Calleigh, he had left her side to give them some alone-time and had gone to check on the others, in between doing his damn job. Truth told, Horatio hadn't been sure if he could bear the intimacy between them. Sure, he wanted them both to be happy. He wanted Eric to be happy. He wanted Calleigh to be happy. Individually. _Together_, he wasn't quite sure of, though.

It soon appeared that halogenated hydrocarbon gas was the specific substance that had been released into the lab. It would have caused them all to suffocate had Horatio not come in time. _In time_ – had he in fact been then?

Jesse had not made it, and Calleigh's condition was still critical. The others were fine; there would be no lasting damage. Health-wise they would be back to normal. Frail hope… but at least better than nothing, he thought to himself then. Once everyone had been checked over once more, looking specifically for consequences of halon, everyone had gotten cleared to go – with the exception of Calleigh, of course. Without any word at all from his side, the team had gathered back at the crime lab without second thought and had cluttered together, gathering all their strengths in order to get the one who had been responsible for…

The thought of Jesse gone, the sight of his second-in-command immovable in the white sheets as his blue eyes fastened upon the window that gave view into Calleigh's hospital room made him so… angry.

If you wanted to be a CSI, you better were tough as nails. However, that was not enough. While being what he in fact was, a criminalist, had always given him the satisfaction of ridding the world of at least some bad, in the last few years the anger that had hardly been there at first had only increased… anger at how no matter how hard he tried, there were still madmen running about – about the triple of the ones he could possibly ever catch. For every one felon caught, at least one more would step right into their position. Most of them didn't even seem to get how sickening and perverted their ways sometimes in fact were.

He knew that he made a change, but sometimes, at times like these for instance, it was hard to see. Criminality evolved all the time; the felons became smarter, and he sometimes wondered if he could still catch up with it. Anger at how sometimes, the felons were momentarily smarter than him and his team, costing him more lives… was always with him. Speed's. Jesse's. Then not counting the many times one of his team had _almost_ lost their life as well. Being a CSI was mostly living life on the edge.

The cardboard beaker crippled into his hand as his fingers tightened into a fist. Had he known earlier, he might have been able to save Jesse, diminish the consequences for Calleigh. Walking about purposelessly across the hallway, he chucked the remains of the beaker in the trashcan meant for it upon passing, then clasped his hands over his face. He was so tired.

Letting his hands slide down his face again, he caught two nurses slipping through the double doors at the end of the hallway. They were seemingly the same ones who had tended to Calleigh earlier. Every few hours, two nurses came to check on her vitals, seeing if there was any change at all in her condition. The first forty-eight hours would be crucial, and it would be very beneficial for her if she awoke within that time frame.

Both nurses nodded at him politely while advancing toward Calleigh's room. He could see them enter the white environment and through the glass saw Eric immediately turn his head toward the sound of the door, rise to his feet, lean down to kiss her forehead and move to leave the room. Shortly after, the blinders rattled closed to obscure their view.

Silence overruled as Eric joined his superior in the hallway; both looked at the window even though they couldn't see anything. "You believe she'll wake soon, H.?" Eric wondered without averting his gaze.

Horatio had asked himself the very same question multiple times already and… truth told, he didn't know really. No one in fact knew. He just hoped that she would, prayed that she would. Nonetheless, he said, "She's a fighter – she must."

Both men were occupied by their own thoughts as they waited for the nurses to finish. They did so for several minutes, until the door of the hospital room creaked open, both nurses leaving quietly. The soft sound made both men redirect their attention, however… professionalism ensured nothing was readable from the women's faces.

Horatio's mouth opened in question, but the seemingly eldest of the two held up her hand to shush him before he even had the chance to say something. "There's no change, Lieutenant," she said, mostly talking only to Horatio. "The time's pressing now, but I fear that there's nothing we could do. Ms. Duquesne has to wake for herself." A look of understanding and sympathy passed over her features for a moment as she saw how Horatio's face suddenly seemed to become even more miserable. She nodded toward Eric politely, before making a small head movement toward her colleague, both of them disappearing down the hallway again… until the next check-up round.

Eric sighed. "I'm going back to the lab, see if I could make use of myself there," he said. He wanted to stay with Calleigh, yet at the same time he knew that the one who had caused her to be there to begin with needed be caught as well. He had been there for a very long time already, talking to her closed eyelids… not quite sure if she could hear him or not, but he hoped. Horatio would stay with her – wouldn't he? He had been at the lab all the time since shortly after his arrival at the hospital. "Will you stay with her for now?" he wondered.

Horatio momentarily seemed to consider it before he nodded. "I'll stay for a bit longer, yes… but then I need to get back, too."

Eric nodded. "She's asleep anyway. I mean, I'd like to be there when she wakes, but…"

"I know, Eric… but we need to catch this killer. He almost killed her as well."

"I know, H. I just…" He sighed. "I'll call you if we know more," Eric said, turning on his heel and leaving in the same direction as the nurses had earlier.

"I'd appreciate it."

Horatio watched as his ex brother-in-law left. He waited until the doors fell shut behind him, then advanced into the direction of Calleigh's hospital room. The blinds were closed still, so the first thing Horatio did as he entered, was move to the open them again, then seated himself on the chair beside the young blonde's bed.

In all those years that she had worked for him, she had barely changed. Her hair was shorter and less straight than it once had been. She had gained a bit of weight, and her lips were fuller than he had seen them, too. She had possibly become less easy-going as well if it concerned personality, but that was necessary in her line of duty… and she had not lost any of her kindness toward colleagues and comrades. He sighed. He no longer knew in which category he would need to sort himself. Lately it had tended more to collegiality than friendship.

"Sweetheart. You need to get breathing for your own now. You've got to wake up." He slowly reached for her hand and sighed deep. As he bowed his head, hoping for her to do just that, he could feel his hope sink into his shoes. However, just then…

Unsure if he were imagining it or not, Horatio's blue eyes moved to her pale countenance: closed eyes… which seemed to fight against the darkness. He tenderly squeezed her hand. "Sweetheart? Sweetheart, come on… open your eyes for me."

The eye movement beneath their closed lids seemed to increase in both rapidness and strength as well. Running his thumb quietly down the back of her hand, he continued watching her closely. Her eyelids continued to twitch more, then suddenly flew open. Horatio stood, leaning over her and squeezing her hand just that bit tighter to make sure she knew that she wasn't alone there.

"Sweetheart, easy," he said, seeing the panic in her eyes at the tubes and numerous wires attached to her. "I'll go and get the nurse so these can be removed. I'll return right away." When he, however, moved to do just that, Calleigh's grip on his hand increased in strength … her eyes pleading with him not to go.

A small smile moved over his lips. "Alright," he said. "I won't be going anywhere. I'll just reach for this button and…" – he did just that – "beep them."

Letting the button above her head slip from his fingers, Horatio sat upon the edge of her bed. Ocean blue met with emerald green, shushing noises falling from rough lips… soothing as they were meant to do. Once those many tubes were removed, Calleigh would feel far more comfortable. At the same time he didn't look particularly forward to it either. She was bound to ask questions. He was bound to share the answers he knew… and some of them were less nice to hear than others.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Roaring Lion

A part of Horatio Caine felt like roaring in triumph. Calleigh had just woken – to him and not to Eric, despite the latter having been there for quite a while earlier. She had woken to him, and after the nurses had removed the few tubes that could be removed and called the doctor to look her over again and tell her about the damage done to her and answer any questions she might have, Calleigh had asked him to stay upon his suggestion to leave, having reached for his hand. The thought of her having asked him to stay merely for Eric's absence hadn't even crossed his mind. His mind was all full of Calleigh Duquesne at that moment and had been for the last hours.

Altogether, he didn't feel like roaring at all. Hearing directly from her doctor how very much damage had been done and what the consequences were both in the short and the long run at least according to how it looked now (it could always turn more positive or negative as time went on; after all everyone reacted on conditions in a slight different way), had been a stab to not only her heart but his, too. Feeling her grip upon his right hand tighten and seeing her eyes fill with tears had pained him only more. He was not surprised to notice her break down shortly after the doctor's departure. He knew that she had tried her best not to do so while he had been there and knew it had been very hard not to. He couldn't blame her for breaking down, for reaching for to him and holding onto him tightly. Horatio was glad she thought of him as comforting still, or so it did seem like.

He gently rubbed her back. "CSI means a lot to me," Calleigh muttered as her tears began to lessen; while her tight grip on Horatio never did. He still heard it in the way Calleigh spoke that she had been crying and most likely was on the verge of continuing as well. "CSI has become my life. My friends are there; nearly everyone I care about. You are all more like family… Horatio, you know better than anyone how very much it all means to me. It is my life. It is who I am."

"I know, sweetheart," he said, his fingers gently combing through her hair. "I wish I could change it all, but… I can't. The most I can do is tell the doctor I'll take care of you so you can at least leave the hospital. Would you like that? You could temporarily move in with me," he wondered. The doctor had mentioned that she would have to sleep with a beeping monitor for a little while, as was common for anyone who had suffered her sort of trauma. While asleep, Calleigh's irregular breathing was at risk to actually stop. A monitor would make loud noise if it stopped for any longer than a certain couple of seconds, making her wake and if not at least her caretaker. He had mentioned that if she could guarantee that someone would be there with her at all times when she wanted to sleep and watch over her, she could possibly go home.

Horatio felt her nod her head against his shoulder, and he pulled back slightly to look her in the eye. "I hate hospitals," she said, sniffling slightly. "I don't want to stay any longer than necessary, and if I'm allowed to leave and go home, then I really want to do so. I could ask Daddy if I could move in for a little while maybe. I'm not at all sure how that would go, though…"

"Calleigh. With all due respect for your father, I–"

"I know," Calleigh said, sighing awkwardly. Her voice still sounded more than a bit hoarse and all as well, but she had confirmed multiple times it didn't hurt. "I just don't want to be a bother."

"You could never be a bother," Horatio assured. "It would be coming to the side of someone in need, a friend in need, someone I care about very much – it is only natural to do that and though maybe I would be more assured if you stayed here, I'm willing to give you the opportunity to leave and take care of you. I can make sure that I'll be home before a certain time at night if necessary or send someone else when I can't; maybe Natalia or Valera."

Calleigh looked up at him, wiping at her teal green eyes. "I really want to go home," she said, and a little chuckle erupted from those pink lips, surprising Horatio. "I believe if you to take me in, I couldn't have any better nurse. I'd even feel safer with you than here at the hospital actually."

Horatio smiled crookedly, too. "I'll go and talk to the doctor to see if it really is possible, if that's okay," he said. "Because I don't know how much longer he's going to be here anymore and the sooner I know, the better. I'll see when you can go home and have to go back to CSI then for a bit. After all, there's still a felon on the loose, and given we both know what he is capable of, I'd like to catch that bastard as soon as possible. The longer he is on the loose now…"

"I know," Calleigh said. "Will you come back here when you've been to the doctor or when will I know when I can go home?"

Horatio's forehead frowned at her question, and he looked about, finding no phone in the room anywhere. Hospitals trusted too much on the mobility of their customers themselves lately. As he did so, he let his eyes, however, trail over the contents of the night table and so caught sight of a small bag that contained the things that had been on her when Calleigh had been brought in. He got from the edge of the bed and reached for it, dragging it from the white wooden night table and lifting it up into the air, inspecting what was inside it. It seemed to at least contain her badge and CSI ID and indeed… her phone. She usually had it in her pocket, only very rarely not taking it with her. Several occasions at CSI had urged her not to let go of it at any time whatsoever so that she could call for back-up or other kinds of help when required right away.

He opened it and reached for the black mobile device, flipping it open and seeing it had turned off. It must have hit the floor hard when she had fallen down on it, and the SIM or battery or so had moved. It at least had several scratches on it, especially on the screen. Before turning it on again, he thus shoved the lid away, extracting the battery and SIM card, blowing them off before putting both items in the device again, shoving the lid back. Then he turned it on again, smiling for one small second as it began vibrating, the screen lightening up. It was still working. He handed her the phone when it asked for her personal code, looking down as she quickly pushed the right digits. "The battery is still half full, so unless it does crash later, I reckon it will do now. I guess I'm in for a new one soon anyway, though – the screen is very blurry. This is by the way why I would never want a touchscreen."

Horatio faintly smiled. "I'll call on your cell when I've come from the doctor then, but I'll come by again later today anyway. Everyone will at least be glad to hear you're awake. Eric's been here a great deal of the day, waiting."

He laid the bag with her badge and CSI ID back and then leaned down to kiss her forehead, smiling one last time before turning and leaving her hospital room. "See you later today, handsome," it trailed after him weakly. She would be glad to sleep some more. She had gotten tired from doing just that somehow.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Taking In a Colleague

He sat looking over her sleeping peacefully, his eyes occasionally trailing to the breathing monitor Calleigh was now attached to. It had not shown any sign of abnormalities, and he could hear her breathing gently while sitting close to her. He hated the felon who had done this to her, and he would make sure to have him serve in jail for a very long time. Frank and he had caught the man that very afternoon. He had gotten back to the hospital to get Calleigh a little after eight, passing by her house to gather a couple more things she needed and helping her to pack the most essential for at few days at least. Doing so, Horatio had noticed men's clothing that was not his for sure – after all, why would it be? – though which he suspected to be Eric's, lying about. He had done his best to ignore that, but a feeling of jealousy, of unreasonable _anger_ had settled in his stomach until long after they left, when they had nearly gotten to Horatio's home.

The doctor had stressed upon him the importance of not leaving the house when she was sleeping, not even during daytime, thus leaving her to have to stay awake during the day or have someone other with her while he was at CSI. The doctor feared she would fall asleep during the day accidentally, not quite convinced she was not a kind of person who could sleep when it wasn't night time. After all, she had had significant trauma, so one could never guess how different or not she'd be in her usual manners – sleeping at day included there. So they had agreed that Calleigh would come with him and just stay at the lab where there was always someone during the day. Horatio had been afraid that it might be too challenging, but Calleigh had suggested it herself. At night, she would then go home with him and sleep in his guest room.

Thus far, no difficulties had arisen, though. He was glad for this, thinking there had been more than enough already, particularly concerning Calleigh's health. Just as the thought crossed his mind, he thought for a moment he heard her breathing stop and reached for her, but before he could take hold of her to shake her awake at once, she had begun to breathe once more. His heart rate slowly calmed down as he carefully listened. It had just been one second where her breathing had stopped, like it does with so many while sleeping at night. That one little second of a skipped breath had just had his own heart stop for a second and panic burst through his veins faster than he had ever thought possible, though.

Staying seated with her and assuring himself that nothing had happened, that she still was alive and breathing, he finally stood and moved to leave the bedroom when her voice sounded, "Handsome?"

He turned slightly to look at her again. "I'm sorry if I woke you," he apologized. "I was just checking on you. I needed to use the bathroom and really had to pass by here anyway."

He watches as she raised her left hand to her eyes and gently rubbed in them, yawning slightly. "I'm sorry," she said, not having been able to suppress the yawn or cover her mouth in time. "Don't worry, though. I don't reckon you being here had anything to do with me waking, or maybe you're my Prince Sharming who wakes me from the dangers of sleeping before something happens or I die."

Horatio couldn't smile like she did. "The alarm didn't go off, at least," he said.

She nodded. "Good. I don't believe that it is all that necessary anyway. I'll be fine…"

Horatio sat down on the edge of the bed again. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness very well already, and he wondered just how long he thus must have been sitting with her there already. He couldn't really say. He didn't remember exactly when he had entered the guest room or left his own to use the bathroom anymore. He only knew his alarm would soon go off – in less than two hours, meaning he would have to go shower and have something to eat and leave then for CSI. "I'm glad that you're wearing it, though," he said. "It does make me feel a small bit less worried. We'll wait and see what the doctor says when you have to go back to the hospital for a check-up next week, though."

"Don't worry so much about me," Calleigh said. "It's sweet, but it's not necessary."

Horatio looked doubtful even in the darkness. He sighed, shaking his head at her merely before replying, "I somehow find that hard to believe. If I had only come a few minutes later, you would have been gone. We all came very close to losing you forever, and it is not that easy to get past. I don't know what we would have done if that had been the case. I mean, your father was seething when you called to say what had happened. I can't imagine how he would have reacted if I had had to call him and tell him you had died in the line of duty. It takes me right back to how I was left to inform Speed's mother. He would have blamed me and never forgiven me, and I never would have forgiven myself for it either."

She sat, reaching for his hand and covering it gently with hers. "Horatio, it is a risk you take when you become a CSI, one we all know exists. He would have been shocked, yes. He might have yelled and whatever, but at the end of the day, he would know it was not your fault – like when Speed got shot. We all knew the risk existed, but it didn't make us any less shocked to see him lying dead there on that cold floor. We barely spoke to each other, not knowing what to say, but at the end of the day, we hugged each other and knew it was no one's fault but the one who shot him."

Horatio nodded, turning his hand so that he could hold hers better. "I still see that scene vividly before me," he admitted. "I still wonder if there is something I could have done after so many years, like I still see the sight of you lying there, and I thought I had been too late for you. – like when Mari got shot. It would have been just another bad memory to add to the list."

"You need more to kill me, Horatio," she said, tugging on his hand and moving over in bed, looking up at him with open, teal green eyes. "Will you stay here tonight with me? I believe I'd sleep better with you here, feel safer. Then maybe you can be more assured that I'm still here as well."

He looked at her intensely and waited for a few seconds before moving over, crawling in bed beside her in his own guestroom, figuring that his morning alarm would definitely be loud enough in order to reach the bedroom she occupied. Why was it that always something bad had to happen first for two people to find each other again sometimes? Why had she nearly had to die on him, for them to find each other again after so many years of distance? As Horatio wrapped his arm across her and held her tightly, taking in the smell of her shampoo and conditioner, he was indeed inclined to just let go of all these years and consider them as meaningless.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Reinstating Calleigh

With an intensely feeling of great relief, Horatio Caine slowly rode the elevator to the right floor in the high building – the one of the forensics. The conversation had been a very tough and long one, and he felt that the Board hadn't exactly agreed with their full consent either, but in the end, they had grudgingly agreed and that was the bottom line. As a matter of fact, Horatio was pleased with himself about having achieved that. He had had to use his best argumentation and had had to repeat himself lots of times, but he was very happy that they had allowed Calleigh Duquesne to return once fully cleared at Miami Memorial. She would remain at CSI, even though limited to behind the scene crime-solving.

He knew it was the best that he could possibly hope for, considering her condition now. He was glad enough he had gotten his own superiors that far, claiming that it was too busy for one firearms expert and that he had needed a secondary for a while already, but that he had always just delayed it – it was actually true that he had thought about asking for a secondary expert in firearms a few times, because if Calleigh was in court or something or ill, they ran behind often. Camden could jump in for a small period from the night shift, while Michaelson held the fort there, but still. Even night shift had two firearms experts. Why should they not? That was one of the things that had convinced his own superiors eventually. He wondered how Calleigh would react on the news, hoping, of course, she would be glad with the offer though it wasn't exactly what she would have liked. Then again, Calleigh Duquesne was an intelligent woman, and deep inside she would most likely know it was really the maximum they could get from all this.

The elevator dinged as he arrived on the right floor, and Horatio found he had gotten thirsty from the meeting, moving straight to the break room. He was glad Miami had seemed to keep the crime down for today thus far – thus far, because one could never say for sure. There could well be a riot going on in the city right now, of which they would hear later. One could never consider crime foreseeable, and something so very small and innocent could always suddenly turn into something very big and deadly for bystanders. Aggressive people could be involved and revenge could follow. Yes, this was a job full of surprises.

As he quietly made his way to the break room, blindly more than anything else, Horatio barely noticed Eric walking up to him from across the hallway. "Hey, H.! Have you seen Calleigh about?"

Horatio stopped in his tracks and looked at his ex brother-in-law curiously. "No, I haven't, Eric," he said. "She went into town for lunch earlier with Natalia and Valera, but I don't reckon they're back yet – they still have ten minutes time before lunch break ends at any rate anyway, but I believe they'll be back a bit before. Why?"

"Oh, nothing," he said, but it didn't sound so very convincing.

"Eric, what's the matter?"

"I believe it was stupid from you, to let her from the hospital already so soon. She nearly died two days ago and you're already taking Calleigh home with you to _take care of her_. If something happens now, what can you really do to save her? Last time I checked, you weren't a nurse! Last time I checked, you two barely allowed the light in each other's eyes, barely spoke to each other at all! I don't see why you have to take her home, when I could have."

Horatio sighed and waited a few seconds before replying. He had somehow expected this issue called Eric's jealousy to appear soon. He had not at all seemed pleased when Horatio had told him yesterday on the way down he was going to pick up Calleigh and that she would stay with him for the time being, relying on a monitor for sleeping that would sound in case her breathing became too irregular or stopped. "Eric, with all due respect, you don't know much more about medicine than I do."

"Still!" Eric argued. "I was always there with Mari when she had to get chemotherapy and when she was ill. I learned about her medicines and the consequences to help her. You would have been better off leaving her there, where competent people are seconds away only!"

"True," Horatio said, his voice as calm as always. It would not do to get mad over this situation. He had not done anything irrational, and Eric just needed to rage. "Eric, she was not your sister alone, but my wife as well. I learned a lot about cancer when I got married to her, too. Calleigh's situation is entirely different. I know you are worried about her and that you want the best for her, but you're not the only one. I do, too. We all want that what is the best for Calleigh and what makes her feel most comfortable. Should I have taken her home? I can't say that, Eric, but they said it was certainly possible. I doubt that she would have lied about that. Calleigh told me multiple times she wanted to go home. She was thinking about calling her father and seeing whether he might take her in for now. You have met him as well. Do you see my concern? Deep inside, he is a good guy, but I believe she would be better off with me right now."

"What makes you believe you're so much better than me?"

"Nothing," Horatio replied. "Because I don't believe I'm any better than you. There's nothing at all going on between her and me." That was essentially true, because as far as Horatio was concerned, he was the one who had feelings for her and she didn't share any in return. Yes, he had held her most of the night before, but that had been purely innocent, purely platonic. Really nothing had happened. Yes, there were romantic feelings, but until they actually acted on it, he didn't consider it like anything at all had happened.

Eric immediately opened his mouth to continue on, "I–"

"I'm not having this conversation with you now," Horatio said. "You're a grown man and it would be nice could you behave like it You're my colleague and my comrade. I was married to your sister. We're family, even. That, however, doesn't mean that I reckon you can act incredibly foolish and jealous sometimes. You have got a bad temper there, Eric. And I'm not having this conversation with you until that has gone down and until you look upon it all rationally again. No matter what I say, you'll see it as a confirmation of certain suspicions, no matter if there is anything to be confirmed or not. I can honestly say that you're mistaken, though. I would suggest that you go ask Calleigh, but she doesn't need your temper right now." With that, Horatio moved on and disappeared in the break room, leaving Eric stunned but still-fuming behind in the hallway, thunder on his face.

The last hadn't been said about this one yet. Oh no. For nothing at all to be going on, it seemed suspiciously otherwise. Calleigh belonged to him alone. They didn't even suit one another. Horatio was, after all, how many years older than Calleigh? The fact that Mari had been even younger than Calleigh 'accidentally' escaped him at that point, his temper having driven any and all rational thought away from his mind. Calleigh loved him, not Horatio!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: The Last Few Steps to Recovery

Horatio waited until she had closed the door on her side of the vehicle to push the button on the key to lock it all up. Horatio noticed her looking curiously at the bag that he had taken from the back seat and only smiled sheepishly, opening the door to his home and naturally stepping aside to let her in before following her and closing the door behind him, throwing the key on the closet in the hallway and moving on. She walked to the living room, followed by the redhead, looking behind her with a small smile a couple of times. He thought of it as… attractive, as flirty, but he knew it certainly wasn't meant in that way.

They agreed to wok rice and some chicken and vegetables. Horatio had left the small bag on the kitchen table without saying anything more. He had not told her not to touch it or look at it, but somehow she remained shy with it. As she was gently cutting the raw chicken to smaller pieces and gazed up at it yet again, Horatio chuckled aloud, just taking the now boiled rice off the hot stove. "You're so curious."

"Yes, well, you know curiosity is in my DNA," Calleigh replied with a smile, shoving the cut chicken aside and blindly reaching for the raw carrots.

Wiping his hands on the kitchen towel, he reached for his surprise, and took from it a relatively small rectangular box. "You mentioned needing a new one, and since I doubt you have gotten anywhere to get yourself a new one already, I thought I help you. I don't know if you like this sort of keypad, but I'm assuming that you'll learn. I asked for a bit more information, and they ensured me it is the best type of mobile devices and most lasting as well. They said that they are popular, too."

Calleigh quietly wiped her hands on the kitchen towel as well, reaching for the box that was offered to her. She took it in her hands and eyed the package closely. "A Blackberry! Horatio, these things are freakishly expensive."

"They're not very," Horatio replied. "The ones with many options only."

"Why do I feel like that's exactly what you have bought for me?"

He smiled again rather sheepishly, not answering her question, just turning back to the still-hot stove and continuing cooking. He began on a topic that was entirely different after a couple of silent seconds. "I had a meeting with the Board earlier. Most of my lunch break has gone to it, but I eventually managed to succeed in getting what I had asked."

"The Board?" Calleigh wondered, continuing with the carrots. Her eyes continued to flash at him, balancing carefully between wanting to see his face and looking at what she was doing to save a trip to the hospital again, maybe with the loss of a fingertip let alone a few. "What did you have to discuss then? What did you have to ask them?" she asked.

"Well, I asked for a new firearms expert. We're in need of one."

"Oh," Calleigh managed, turning her gaze down to the carrots again, trying not to be too very upset over it. Of course they needed a new ballistics expert. She hadn't come in for days already, and Camden couldn't keep shifting between the day and night team, jumping in where he could. Of course, she understood, but that didn't mean that she regretted it any less.

"They agreed to hire a secondary," he said.

"Secondary? Is Camden staying on day team?" she wondered, trying not to sound too shocked or too hurt, though she knew Horatio would have noticed it by now already anyway. He could always tell. He could tell ever so often when she hid things or tried not to show anything too much.

"No," Horatio said. "Camden is going back to night team. I managed to convince them to let you stay on the team once you are cleared at the hospital. Of course, you are to stay inside at all times. It would be too dangerous if we let you in the field where you risk to get in a situation which requires running – you couldn't. You can stay on at the lab and you'll get a colleague in ballistics who will work in the field with us. You can use the help anyway – it doesn't have anything to do with doing well or not. You've always been great at what you do, but there's a little too much crime for just one person, I fear. It might be slightly more bearable to deal with two."

Calleigh's smile grew, twinkles in her eyes. He was glad to see her like that. "Really?" she asked, obviously not quite believing what he had said.

"Really," Horatio confirmed, inwardly smiling.

She eyed him meaningfully. "You're spoiling me, handsome. I really appreciate all that you do. I really do… but you shouldn't have done all that just for me. I mean, I guess I could have found some kind of job somewhere else. Sure, it wouldn't be my dream job, but I would have found something."

"Don't you want to stay at CSI now you aren't allowed into the field? Are you afraid that it will be too painful?"

Calleigh's head shook as she pushed the cut carrots aside and reached for the cucumber on the counter. "No," she said. "I just… You do so much for me, Horatio."

"You're welcome," he said.

She dropped her knife. "Still, you didn't have to do all that for me. I mean, and letting me stay here and all, letting me use your bathroom for half an hour each time. I reckon you'll be glad you're finally rid of me, so you can have all that for yourself again. I'm a real girly girl when it comes to time in the bathroom and makeup and high heels and all of that."

As if he hadn't noticed; it was only one of those things that he liked about her the most: the fact that she was rather girly and liked to be just that. She was a very beautiful and attractive woman, and any nice clothing or makeup she might use, would only add to that. It wouldn't ruin it like it did with some women, who depended on external facilities too much. He had met a fair few of those already.

"Well, you've livened it up a bit," he said. "It is something different entirely to come back to an abandoned home and leave in one. I don't dislike it one bit, though. You can stay however long that you want, even when you're cleared from wearing that monitor to regulate your breathing."

He failed to see the blush on the woman's cheeks as she continued cutting the cucumber in pieces to add on to the wok, as Horatio began to heat the high pan to wok everything together in, having added some oil already.

He hoped that it would taste as good together as it looked all separately. After all, he hadn't cooked such extensive wok very often – he just couldn't be bothered to cut all vegetables in pieces and was usually satisfied with just rice, chicken and some curry. Typically male, he guessed. At least, Horatio did cook… at all. He knew many men who couldn't even fry an egg without creating a mess and/or letting it get burned. Frank, for instance – Frank Tripp was one of these men who couldn't cook for the life of him, which is one of the reasons why he needed a wife. The mere thought of him behind a stove would look ridiculous as well anyway.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: A Whole New Level

"I'm sorry for taking the bathroom for so long, handsome," Calleigh said upon leaving the room in question in her sleeping attire, her hair rolled into a towel. Even at night time, all her makeup gone, Calleigh Duquesne looked breathtaking, and as she halted by the door just when he meant to walk in, he was sure she had noticed his gaze upon her figure, had maybe noticed his mouth open slightly. No, Horatio told himself. He shouldn't let his mind wander in this direction. She did not share any romantic feelings for him. She had only nearly died a couple of days ago, too. This was just not in the cards – not tonight if at all.

"No worries," he managed, swallowing visibly, moving to walk into the bathroom before he did something incredibly stupid: this being either hugging her, kissing her, carrying her to his bed, carrying her to the bed in the guestroom… just when Calleigh leaned her hand against the doorway so that if he wanted to get through, he would have to bow his head.

"I have seen you looking at me, handsome. I have seen you looking at me multiple times – in the way that I longed for you to look at me for so many years… I just–"

"Why tell me now then?" Horatio wondered, no longer interested in leaving his spot by the door of the bathroom or the shower which he initially had meant to have there. Instead, he just watched her with his clear blue eyes.

"I was scared…" she admitted. "You got married to Marisol, and then I barely saw you at all even at work. I believe I've seen those looks return to me in these past few days, though. Maybe I see what I long to see too much. After all, you–"

He reached over and raised her face to his. "You don't," he assured, a smile on his lips. "I've been feeling more than friendship for you for so long I can hardly remember a time where I didn't love you, and those feelings never stopped. One of the reasons why I never said anything was because of the other men: John, Peter… another reason is the policy at CSI. I didn't want us to be separated for loving each other. Between colleagues, relationships aren't, _technically _allowed either, but they're more willing to overlook it. I've seen many get fired or at least permanently separated for having a relationship or even flirt with their superiors, though. I don't want that to happen to us."

"Of course," Calleigh said, nodding with her understanding. "I don't want that to happen either. I'm sorry – I wasn't even thinking that far."

His forefinger gently trailed the length of her jaw line and his blue eyes caught on her teal green eyes. "I'm not sorry," he said. "I'm not sorry at all. I'm just sorry we had to discover like this, so many years later and a few relationships and a marriage later. I regret you never having told me of your feelings, but… then again I didn't tell you anything either, so I'm as much to blame if there is any blame. I thought you wouldn't want an old guy like me. You're so young, so beautiful… so lively."

Calleigh immediately shook her head, moving her fingers over his lips. "Never blame, handsome," she said. "Plus, I quite like the lines of age on you. They make you look less of a school boy."

"Oh, you believe I looked like a school boy in my younger years?"

"I didn't say that…" she said, letting her hands fall on his chest and trail up to his shoulders slowly. She then stood on her tiptoes to kiss him, barely touching his rough lips with her own before slowly moving away, a look of what he interpreted as longing in her eyes.

"Calleigh," he choked. "We can't do this…"

"We can and we will," she replied. "We can always be careful… very careful and very slow."

"Calleigh, really," Horatio interrupted, hands falling to her hips and sliding to her lower back, dangerously close to her ass and lingering just a few inches above it. Truth was, he was longing very much to just push Calleigh against the wall and to make love to her with this suppressed longing of so many years. He knew that he couldn't, though. While she would deny still being weak, he didn't know what intercourse would do to her. He intended to leave her so breathless if they did, and maybe… that just wasn't done given the situation.

"Horatio. I need you," she said. "I know you will be careful. That's enough."

Then his eyes fell shut and a groan left his mouth as her warm hand cupped him through the fabric of his formal trousers. Oh, how Horatio wanted her… but they couldn't do this now or anytime soon anyway. They hadn't spoken to each other in years. Then she had nearly died and had woken to him. Then he had taken her in. Then they admitted having loved one another for years suddenly while clearly still having been with others on the way even until very recently in her case, and they were just looking at one another there, aroused by one another, much like two teens?

If he lined it all up, it seemed ridiculous enough; like a soap opera for grannies. Yet as his eyes fluttered open again and clearly saw the burning need she still held within teal green, the longing for him in them, and felt her warm hand still upon the evidence of his burgeoning need, he knew no matter how surreal it might sound to a reader if he wrote it down on paper or a listener if he recounted it verbally, it was fucking true.

He blamed his hormones for letting himself be lead back that easily into his wide bedroom, her pinkish lips on his and tongue in his mouth, her fingers snared in his red hair, guiding his head against her, and the smell of her shower gel in his nostrils. In no time at all, she had pushed him back on the high mattress and undressed him while she continued to kiss him. He later wondered where the devil his own hands had been at the time; why he hadn't used them to push her off or at least stop her or slow her down.

They fell upon naked flash suddenly – she seemed to have divested herself of her own clothes as well: it was at this realization that he found the breasts squashed against his bare ribcage were bare as well, and he felt his head swim. He felt sloshed and high if he had even known how it felt like being high. To know, he would have had to ask her since Calleigh had accidentally gotten high on a case once… Oh, the irony of it all.

Another bout of irony was that he was usually so observing, and now she had gotten them undressed without him even having realized so until later. He tried to gather his thoughts and all, but that was very hard when an attractive woman had managed to pin you down naked to your bed and was kissing the air from your very lungs as if her life depended on it. He finally managed to gather enough of his mind to turn his head away and catch his breath, enabling her to catch hers as well.

He shifted his pelvis slightly somehow and… _felt her_. Mischief gleamed in her eyes as she realized he knew. "Very slowly…" she whispered, followed by a groan just not loud enough to be louder than his.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Cuddly and Thoughtful Conversation

"Life can be mysterious enough, no?" Calleigh wondered, nails trailing through his chest hair a few nights later.

"Yes, I agree," Horatio said. "I don't reckon everyone will be so happy to know about you and me, though." He looked down at her as she looked up at him and they knew that they were thinking the exact same. _Eric. _Of course, his famous temper would surely rise higher upon hearing it. His first bout of temper hadn't died down yet even, so it would prove challenging to say the very least about it… Oh well, it would just have to settle. After all, he hadn't been entirely content with him and Marisol either right at the beginning.

"I don't believe we were meant to have a future together," Calleigh said, and Horatio didn't have to ask whom she meant. "He's a great guy most of the time, but he's still so young at mind, too. I can tell he'll be a great dad and all, but I couldn't imagine myself ever married with children with him."

Horatio nodded, taking hold of a lock of her blond hair and twirling it around his right forefinger in an absentminded sort of way. His mind was whizzing at a top speed, though. "Do you want children one day?"

She lifted herself up on his chest and looked him in the eye. "Do you want any more?" she wondered, her teal green eyes open and tone soft. She would accept what Horatio thought and said, even if it wasn't what she had had in mind. She could at least listen first, no?

"I don't really know," Horatio said. He remembered what he had told Marisol, and that hadn't changed. The feelings that had run through him then hadn't changed. They were a few years further again, though. He was a few years older again. "I already have an adult son, and so maybe it would look ridiculous if I still had a baby at my age. I'm old enough now to be a granddad… Then again, I missed so much of Kyle's life. I wouldn't mind to have a child again and do it right for once – this time actually being there from the beginning and being in on them learning to talk, to walk… I wouldn't mind even more than one, but it depends on the situation. Do you want children?"

Calleigh waited for a second, then nodded. "I want them to be involved in my life at one point, yes. Maybe soon, too. I'm getting on in years, and I've been feeling the clock tick for a couple of years already. I can't help but be taken upon seeing little ones and want to have one or maybe more myself, but the time was never right. Even now, I don't know how it would go, but I guess not being allowed into the crime field any longer will result in more of a nine-to-five job and thus a foreseeable of sorts schedule. I might have children alone at one point, if I don't find the right one to have any children with, but I hope for a husband to help me take care of them." She laughed. "Children of mine will most certainly be little devils."

"You know I wouldn't mind being the husband and the father in that plan sometime," he said.

"Oh, good," Calleigh replied. "So I wasn't crazy when I had a daydream earlier filled with red haired children everywhere really?"

"How… many exactly?"


End file.
